3: The Unspoken Side of Job Searching

There it is again… Another subject line that starts with “Thank you for applying…” and ends with the polite but gutting reminder that another opportunity has passed me up. Rejection emails have a way of stacking up like little reminders of dreams deferred, and no matter how many I’ve received, they still sting. If you’ve ever sat staring at one, wondering if you’ll ever get a “yes,” you’re not alone. They’re never easy to read, but they’ve become part of the rhythm of chasing something bigger.

The Sting of the "No"

Recently, I had an interview I was beyond excited for. I did my homework, prepared for days, put on my best outfit, and walked in with my head held high. For the first time, I left an interview smiling ear to ear, certain I had nailed it.

This job felt like such a good fit. It was a secretarial position requiring a high school diploma and strong computer skills. With my four-year degree, office experience, and the bonus of already working in the organization, I thought I had the leg up that I needed. I couldn’t help but let myself dream a little. I pictured new work outfits, a nice apartment, and getting even closer with the coworkers I already knew and loved.

The week after the interview, I was glued to my inbox, waiting for what I was sure would be an acceptance email. Instead, I got a phone call. My heart raced. A phone call had to mean good news, right? My hands shook as I answered, already preparing to accept the offer.

“Hi there, is this Jordan?”

“Yes, this is she!”

“Hey… so, I always say this is the hardest part of my job… knowing someone wants a position so badly, and having to tell them they didn’t get it.”

My. Heart. Sank. Tears sprang to my eyes, and I could barely get through the rest of the call with a steady voice. I hung up feeling crushed. I thought I was overqualified, I thought I had an inside track and still, it wasn’t enough.

The disappointment hit hard. I immediately spiraled into questions I’ve asked myself too many times: What’s so wrong with me? Why am I never good enough? Embarrassment, frustration, anger… All of it boiled over. And if you’ve ever been in that same place, staring down rejection and wondering why, I want you to know: you’re not alone.

When “No” Feels Personal

In the days that followed, I mourned the loss of the life I had imagined with that job. I know it sounds dramatic, but this one felt more real than any of the others. And because of that, the rejection sent me spiraling into some of my most frustrating thoughts.

If I wasn’t good enough for a position I felt overqualified for, would I ever be good enough for any job? What do other people have that I don’t? Did I say the wrong thing in the interview? Was I too much myself and not serious enough?

It became a battle between me and my own mind. I replayed every detail, nitpicking each answer I gave and punishing myself for not responding differently. The questions never stopped: What if I had done better? What if I had been better?

The truth is, rejection stirs up more than just disappointment about a job. It pokes at self-worth, identity, and the future you’ve been picturing for yourself. With every “no,” it gets harder to separate the feeling of not being good enough for a job from the deeper fear of not being good enough at all. It’s a dangerous spiral, and it can be crushing.

Job searching has chipped away at my confidence, making it harder to send out résumés or walk into interviews with any sense of assurance. Lately, it feels like I’m applying while carrying the weight of all the times I’ve already been told “no.”

What I Tell Myself on Hard Days

I’ve tried writing this section a dozen different ways, usually with some cliché about “rejection being redirection.” But the truth is, where I’m at right now, I’m discouraged, and I know a lot of other people are too. After interviews, I often feel weak, depressed, and every mix of sad and frustrated you can imagine. One small thing that sometimes helps, though, is reminding myself of what could have gone wrong if I had gotten the job: drama-filled coworkers, a toxic boss, an overwhelming workload, or a culture that just wasn’t the right fit. I think back to past jobs that left me drained and tell myself, “Maybe that place would’ve been the same.” It doesn’t always make me feel better, but sometimes it takes the edge off.

Here’s something I’m learning: if you walk into an interview prepared, polished, and positive and they still don’t see your value, that’s not on you. That’s their loss. If you’re hardworking, they missed out on someone who would have gone above and beyond. If you’re a quick learner, they missed out on someone who could have exceeded their expectations. If you’re kind and compassionate, they missed out on a coworker who could’ve made their team stronger.

The truth is, the qualities you bring to the table don’t disappear just because one company overlooks them. They still belong to you, and eventually, you’ll find the organization that recognizes them for what they are: priceless.

So the next time that rejection email hits your inbox, try not to be sad for yourself. Be sad for the people who just let someone valuable slip through their fingers. Because you are valuable. And your place is still out there. It just hasn’t met you yet.

Moving Forward Despite the “No’s”

These days, clicking “apply” often feels more like clicking “what’s the point?” But even when it feels pointless, the truth is… You tried. You got up, filled out the application, and took another step toward the right path for yourself. In a season like this, those little victories matter more than we give them credit for.

I don’t have a five-step plan for landing the perfect job because I’m not there yet either. Most days, I’m staring at my friends’ full-time jobs and wondering why I can’t seem to get there, too. The comparison is heavy, and it can feel so lonely.

But that’s why I’m writing this: so you know you’re not the only one feeling it. If rejection emails are filling up your inbox like mine, please hear this. We’re in it together. And even though neither of us knows when or how, I believe the right job will meet us when the timing is right.

Until then, let’s keep taking the small steps. Keep pushing ourselves forward, even when it hurts. And above all, keep reminding ourselves that we are worth more than a rejection email.

Here’s to progress, not perfection.

Jordan